Back to the present. Koh Tao, Thailand. 4 am. A new guest with an Asian woman in the room across me. Screaming loud,- instant passion?
Yesterday a French couple stayed there. They had a big argument, lots of screaming, moving around and crying. The woman from the reception walked past, looked at me, wondering if she needed to interfere. She knocked on their door.
They checked out this morning. The reception woman smiled at them: “happy? Happy–, everybody happy !” An embarrassed smile back and they left.
Sunset. Sitting on my favorite rock. Hidden like a lizard. I watch the boats go by, listen to the waves and explore the dark corners. If only –.
Evening, in a bar on the beach. I Ask the fire torch guy to light my cigarette, to feel alive for a minute. I feel the heat close to my face. A girl starts talking to me. If I was scared. What my name is. My plan- where I am going next. I tell her that all is unclear, that I don’t know. A great filter. She looks at me with big eyes. Does not know what to say. She asks me my age. I tell her. Again the big eyes. Then she asks where the party is- if I want to join. She leaves.
Another girl starts talking to me about the fire . She is travelling with a group, asks me my name, and where I am going next. Again I say that I don’t know and explain. I meet her whole group of friends. She comes back and asks me if I want to join them to the next island.
I leave the bar. On the street a Dutch guy starts talking to me. He is on a holiday- his first time in Thailand. Where I am going next. Again I explain and again the big eyes. He tells me to explore the other beaches around here. We say goodnight and I walk back to my bungalow.